About Me

My absolutely beloved and astounding friends
Please enjoy your stay here, like floating through a lupine meadow, or any regular laser forest full of wolves.


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While I’m alive, I will learn every day, dance, fall down, challenge myself, empathize, create music, eat daily, fail a lot, conquer my fears, and be the best possible version of myself. My intention is to live life, go on adventures, and be weird while moving the planet one millimeter. Being on this journey with loved ones is the motivation for me to be alive. Time is steady, so I want to do much more good on this planet since I’m going to die someday. I have made many mistakes, but I now devote my life for the sake of good.

Let this be a monument of gratefulness for everyone who has ever struggled. I have met some of the kindest, and most compassionate human beings that it motivates me to be a better person. I have a long way to go, but direction is more important than speed. I don’t want anything from you. Moreover, those who desire power in any way, will not find respite here.

I’ve taken the Improv curriculum with the Upright Citizens Brigade, and am constantly striving to suffer more. I’m very aware of how insane it is, and I don’t mind. Doing what I’m afraid of is my priority. Fear guides me by exposing my insecurities, and I struggle to reconcile with them. Ultimately, it’s all a beautiful dream. That being said, “The Game” is a cool concept to explore.


Acting is a wonderful path to self-expression. I have studied with many wonderful teachers, like the wonderful Indrani DeSouza. I have studied Improv at UCB through the 401 level, and I’ve done several of Killian’s workshops. I’m in SAG-AFTRA and will continue to push myself emotionally past my comfort levels forever.

Music is what I use to express my gratitude for every intense moment’s beauty and majesty. I use a keyboard as my chosen catalyst to express how grateful I am for being alive, a testament to love itself. Music is an expression of my emotional landscape. Coincidently, my emotional landscape sounds a lot like SEGA Genesis music. I grew up playing piano mostly, and now I mostly play the piano.

Martial arts is my ikigai, and the reason I wake up every morning. BJJ, Boxing, Muay Thai, Judo, Wrestling, and Karate are all astounding methods of applying physics in different scenarios, especially conflict resolution. They have such a rich history that coexists with and contributes to our own species’ survival development. Martial arts helps me understand myself, by pushing me to explore my potential as a human being. Through this practice, I am able to help others. 


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I’m fascinated by life and all aspects of human nature. One way we can connect with other human beings and animals is through language. I speak English, some Japanese, and some Spanish. I also speak 100% non-verbal communication, but I am not able to effectively interpret it in real-time. Applied Behavior Analysis is my favorite abstraction ever. The concept of reinforcement is the most important principle I have ever learned. Ever.

While living in Japan, my neighbor who was a child at the time, gave me a thumbs up and said, “Special” which inspires me to be the best version of myself every day. I adore anyone with a kind heart.

On occasions, I’ve had breathtaking encounters. A bird flew into our house while I was playing piano, so I played the flute for it in my room. For years, I would howl at midnight (super annoying) during full-moons, and on some nights a coyote would howl back. We frolicked around in the mist for an hour. In the Grand Canyon, I was mauled by a deer for getting too close to its fawn. I adore everything, everyone, and consider ourselves capable of overwhelming greatness.


All our love in every possible world

© Alan Godshaw

9 Comments

  1. Thank kindness that I found you. I have been pursued by demons for some time now and have tried everything including changing my hair color and style. Please find my spirit in the ether, it is urgent. You are one of my only hopes, Alan Godshaw.

    Liked by 1 person

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