Yes, the beloved Disney film with three small children that do ninja stuff,
3 Ninjas copied our horrible and shitty movie. And while I am STILL upset over it, 20 years later, they clearly have the better film. Also, some acting classes could have helped our production value. Or just any classes.
The only thing I have to say is that it took us 2 freaking years to finish this “film.” During post-production, my voice had changed so much that it sounded too low for my puny image on screen, and didn’t match other parts in the film since I sounded like an angsty teenage by this point. Their idea to remedy this was to ask me to speak in a higher voice to compensate. The rest is forgettable and mediocre history. Mind you, these are all adults that thought this was a good idea. I sounded like Mickey Mouse, and it is all their dullard minded faults. Subsequently, all of the sound people have died violent deaths from Hyena attacks.
The sound people were stupid bastards. I hate them with a furious passion for making me sound like a tiny weasel. One of them went on to mix sound for a little film called Dances With Wolves. What an asshole!
Here are some amazing stills from our beautiful arthouse film.
Here is the NES game that never was. Thanks to Christopher Steele for this gorgeous gem.
This film should have been an actual comedy. But adults were in charge.
I laughed 12 times during this actor’s death scene. He was just too excellent. Also, they kept one take IN THE FILM where I start to laugh and feebly attempt to change it into an “I’m about to cry” moment. I realize as I’m typing this that it was probably the best take. By far.
My most flattering still from the film. My mom still enjoys my portrayal of my character creatively named “Alan.”
Please Enjoy, but don’t ever watch this,